From The E-mail Neighborhood

For awhile now a small group has kicked around some emails to provoke one another... I have been putting some of mine on my blog after removing the inside jokes and personal abuse.

Thoughts from the past, and today, fit in with the Father/Daughter CDs, may this encourage, I hope you and yours are way ahead of me, if there is any good, think on it.

For the most part we men have such a stunted vision of what God is calling us to, that if we just tell men to, "not be wimps, but rise up", that for the most part we men will shake our heads in agreement but then not have the first clue of what we should then do differently. The only examples I had as for what a man should be were bad, twisted shadows. Phillips, Wilson, Rushdoony!! and others have been so very good in helping me to see, what I never saw modeled. If our wives don't understand how they can best help, they are also liable to just repeat things like "you need to be a man," so rather than being an encouragement it can just be another whack on the head. We tend to be intimidated by our wives anyway.

No one knows a mans weakness like his wife. It is so easy to undo what God wants done. My wife has come to recognize how the odds are stacked against men in our culture, how every sitcom, cartoons, movie, and magazine stereo type men, fathers, and husbands as clueless, slow, ha, ha. Even little kids books reflect this, ever read a "Bernstein Bear" book, yes I recommend getting them off your shelves and burning them. We men can even then use this to our advantage and lean into the stereo type, "what do you expect" so that our families expect less of us and we can "retreat" and be left alone to do what we want. It's humanity's pride on parade from both sides. And God's Kingdom and the families are the losers. We will need to be deliberate and stay focussed on what we should be about. All of Vision Forums cds on these subjects concerning men and women, and marriage have been great!

The church too can play a big role in helping us to reclaim this for the Kingdom. We have to face it and realize that we are in a transitional period, as Botkin would say. We are so wet! Old habits are so hard to break, world views, strong men. If something comes up that might be good for the ladies to do, partake in...it's so hard to not stand up and say "ladies think about this", rather than the biblical model which would be to address the heads of the households,"men this XY or Z is coming up, you should be aware so you can consider if this is something profitable for your family." Most of the ladies have breathed enough of the vapors of our egalitarian culture has given off, that some of them might be incensed. "Does he think were too stupid to know if we should be doing something." How many ladies cry out for a godly husband and marriage, but then by their reactions and behavior basically drown it like a kitten. I give Rob (my elder/pastor) credit, he tries to do this, but it is so hard to retrain what has always been. Sometimes we don't even think about it till later.

But it's precept upon precept, line upon line, a little here a little there.. I am so blessed to have my wife on board in this area! It allows me to be bold, to be a man! Some women would see my wife and feel sorry for her, poor fool. But my wife is losing her life to gain it, she laughs and and thanks God as she sees coming to fruition what she has longed for. She would be the first to say it wasn't what she thought it would be, and she wouldn't trade it back for that stinking mess of pottage she used to control! When we accept what God has made us to be, and where he has placed us in life, then we are ready to have some of that peace, righteousness and joy in the Holy Ghost! It's called the Kingdom of Heaven.

I think about how most of the time if you talk about this type of subject there is the impulse to go through some men's study. Every study guide I have been through in the past has been so feminized as I look back. Well meaning but with enough errors to be...less than in alignment with the Word, and usually a heavy dose of what our culture trys to define us as. You cannot get the men to where thay need to be, if the women don't want to embrace what God has called them to be. It takes both partners to embrace what God has made them to be, for the whole, to have a chance to function correctly. My wife actually first embraced her role and them I came on board. Now there's leadership. Looking back I can see it now. God help us, show us, we repent.

No matter where along the spectrum a family or marriage may be, it is the responsiblity of the father/husband. We will give an account to God, we have been given the authority. So do not blame your wife! Let God know you accept responsibility for whereever you and your family are at and lets ask him to change us and our housholds, that we may take hold of that, for which He took hold of us.